Freakishly Happy

Ranting:
I have come to the conclusion that Germans (and possibly all Europeans) are extremely dehydrated individuals. They have NO public drinking fountains and all of their beverages are really REALLY expensive. How do these people sustain their 97% water weight when they don't have access to water? Sure there are these little streams (Bächele (Bake-uh-luh)) running all through the city, but who really wants to drink them when the freaky street people are doing who-knows-what in them. (well, for one thing, the freaky stree people are certainly NOT bathing in the bächele, because if they were they would not smell nearly as ripe as they do)(they really should take this into consideration)). So all day I walk around thirsty, taunted by the bächele and unable to drink anything because I am too cheap to buy water at 1.50 Euro a pop.
Grrr..

Ranting:
Ok... I must have a chip in my head that attracts the neurotically unsound to me (this is according to my brilliant friend Jess) because for some reason the freaky street people here in Freiburg are attracted to me like gnats to rotting fruit (which we also have profuse amounts of here in Germany (both gnats and rotting fruit, this is for another rant)).
SO I have two stories of being in contact with freaky street people from the last two days.
I have been sick all week (I'm thinking due to the Curry Wurst)with all kinds of nasty things. We had our final exams today for our intensive language school, so yesterday I went over to UZH (a dormitory where a lot of my friends live) to study with Jess and KT.
As I was standing waiting for the Bahnhof (the train) I noticed this guy kind of watching me. Not feeling like I wanted to talk to anyone, I moved to the other end of the shelter. Thinking that I was relatively safe, I began to read the bus schedule.
Out of nowhere the creepy guy kind of popped up at me. I think he said something about either my coat (my new Indiana Jones esque leather duster (7 Euro at the Fleamarket)) or my scarf ( the really pretty one that my sister Jaci made me). As I was going to revisit my croissants and Nutella that I had from breakfast, I didn't feel like talking, so I said I didn't speak German. So then the guy began listing off languages trying to see if I spoke any of them. "Französisch? English? Russisch? To all of which I said no. Then I began blatantly ignoring him, hoping he´d go away. But they never do, do they?
(Just so you can get a mental picture of this guy, he was a little taller than me, wearing tallish shoes. He had stringy looking grayish hair, that stuck out onto his ears from under his beret like headcovering. He was wearing a Columbia type ski coat, and exercise pants. He had ruddy skin and was missing a good portion of his front teeth.
Getting frusterated with my ignoring him, he kind of crouched down and leaped up in my general direction saying "BOOOOOOOO!"
This of course got me to talk to him.
SO, he asked me where I was from. I said Candada.(this conversation was all in German)
Oh, CAN- A --DA!!!!!" What a beautiful place. The mountains !!!(makes kissing gesture with hands like the Italians) And the open country. Sky as far as you can see. And so blue the sky is!!!!"
"Yes, Yes Canada is beautiful" I say.
So we talked about a whole bunch of other random things. He asked if I was from the area, and I said no I was visiting a friend. He thought this was really sad. He picked up my hand and said something about me being a poor thing. (I didn't really understand this part of the whole ordeal (wait a minute! I didn't understand ANY part of this whole thing).
Then he told me that he was studying padagogical society. I asked if it was at the University. He said no. Just from society... he thought he might teach a class.
Then somehow he left. I don't really remember why....
SO Story number II
So John and I went on a very long tour of IKEA tonight, and got on the bus with two HUGE bags and a trash can full of stuff. We sat towards the back of the bus, because we didn't want to have to carry our stuff any further than we had to. This put us unfortunately far away from the other people, who wisely sat in the populated area in the front of the bus.
Right after the bus started this guy sort of stumbled back towards us.
He made a gesture towards the bag, and said something to us. Because the bus was moving and because the guy was most likely speaking jibberish we couldn't understand him. John who was sitting on the out side told him that we didn't speak German (notice a trend?)
The guy kind of Hrrumphed and sat back in his seat and flipped his sunglasses down over his eyes. So we just kind of all sat there in silence. As if this wasn't good enough for him, he leaned forward and again said something. We again responded apologetically that we didn't understand. Then he flipped us off. (his middle finger was bandaged as if he had done this to some one else recently who didnt take too kindly to his non verbal conversation and decided to bust it for him).
Then he started mumbling some other stuff to himself, and looked at us and motioned for us to be quiet (put a finger to his lips). At this point I was clutching John's hand for dear life, I left indentations on his hands from squeezing so hard).
Then the guy started moaning to himself, quietly at first but then getting louder and louder. After a few minutes, he kind of threw himself against the bus window and really started in on the moaning. At first I couldn't tell if it was "good" moaning or bad moaning.
But then he kindly decided to mix up the moaning with some well placed wailing. So moaning and wailing, wailing....Everytime the bus would hit a bump, or the engine noises would get louder he would grunt wail and moan....
(((Then a lady got on to the bus and sat in front of us. Up until this point we were alone with the crazy. I was a little frightened that we were so far back that the bus driver would hear our cries as the crazy chopped us to bits. I had hope though when the woman got on the bus, because well.. three people yell louder than two (and my sisters know from experience, I'm not very good at calling for help in the case of a forest fire, so you can imagine how unfortunate it'd be in a situation with a looney axe murder))).
So the guy starts saying "Kein Schmerz Mehr, Kein Schmerz Mehr" which means "No more pain, No more pain" This lasted for a good 5 mintues.
Then the bus pulled over because it was running a bit ahead of schedule (the Germans can't be early or late, just on time). This seemed to really please the guy. The lifted something black high over his head. I was getting ready to dive under the seats thinking it was a gun, when I realized it was his dumb sunglasses.
The guy muttered something about "does nobody care for the Man (meaning the little guy) does no body care about Jesus?" and stood up.
He walked up to the lady in front of us and said something crazy (because that is what crazy people do, I guess).
She also did not respond so guess what he did? He got in her face and said "BOOOO"
and laughed and walked off the bus.
As soon as he was gone, she turned around and we had a rousing discussion in German about how looney the guy realy was.
The END.
Moral of the story always talk to freaky streetpeople, if they talk to you because otherwise they say "BOOOO!" in your face really loudly and they never have nice breath.
So my question is, what is the deal with freaky German streetpeople and wanting to talk to everyone (in particular ME and mine??) ? At least Freaky Ami (German name for American) street people keep to themselves. I will keep you all updated on any future events. I think that this could perhaps be a new special on the David Letterman show, don't you? Conservative Midwestern Girl takes on Freaky Street-people?? I can see it now...